June 4, 2004
John Kerry: Stump Problem
It’s no secret. Sen. John Kerry’s campaign stump speeches
are boring. Reporters write about it, late night
talk show hosts joke about it, and no doubt Democratic
National Party Chairman Terry McAuliffe stews about it.
Here are a few odes to the Kerry stump problem we’ve
“John Kerry has a new 757 jet to use while he campaigns
for president... did you see it on the news? This is a
really cool plane. In the event that Kerry starts
speaking, oxygen masks fall from the ceiling to keep
people awake.” – Jay
“He is a wooden campaigner...”
– writes Newsweek’s
chief political correspondent Howard Fineman.
“Senator and Presidential candidate John Kerry has been
criticized for his cold, wooden demeanor and uninspired
message...” -- Adam Nagourney, New York Times.
“Kerry has been tagged a wooden Al Gore clone” –
New York Metro Magazine.
“Kerry sits onstage in a row of veterans, several of
whom speak on his behalf. My eyes wander across the row
and come to rest, with familiar incredulity, on the wooden
guy in the white shirt. Of all the guys in this row, can
you believe this is the one running for
president?” – William Saletan, Slate’s chief political
to full article, “The Thin Man” Sept. 2, 2003]
“Cleland lights up the crowd with zingers, plain talk,
and more animation than Kerry can manage with four limbs.
While Cleland works his magic, Kerry sits expressionless
behind him, squinting and repeatedly touching various
parts of his hair to make sure they're in place. They're
fine, but Kerry seems terribly anxious that somewhere,
somehow, a hair is out of place....” – William Saletan.
“Much of Kerry's problem is superficial. He's as stiff
as a GI Joe. He's infatuated with the 1960s. He keeps
talking about "our generation" to an electorate that is no
longer of his generation. He speaks the language of the
Kennedys, which now sounds flowery and phony. He adorns
his prose with words like "lavish" and "astonishing." He
calls the audience "my fellow Americans." He tells them
he's "honored to join you in this endeavor." For the
thousandth time, he begins a sentence with the pointless
preface, "And I say to you today …" At another point, he
proclaims, "Let me put it plainly: If Americans aren't
working, America's not working." This is what audiences
always have to wade through to get at whatever it is Kerry
is trying to say: Nuggets of nothing, wrapped in
pretentious rhetoric, compounded by the pretense of plain
click here to
June 5, 2004
Ronald Reagan, 40th President, dies
after long battle with Alzheimers
June 9, 2004
Kerry photo-ops Reagan casket
Presumptive Democrat presidential nominee John Kerry
showed up at the Reagan Library on Tuesday afternoon to
view the deceased former president’s casket, setting off a
firestorm of reaction.
At issue: The need for a Kerry
visit to the Reagan Library in California. As reported by
Rush Limbaugh, a Kerry spokesperson had already announced
Kerry would attend the State Funeral for Reagan on Friday
in Washington, D.C.
At issue: The photographer
accompanying Kerry into the Reagan Library. Clear
guidelines (handed out to everyone prior to entering the
library to view Reagan’s casket) state: “Absolutely no
photography will be allowed inside the Library.” A
photographer entered slightly ahead of Kerry and took
pictures of Kerry while he was there. These pictures were
posted as ‘Associated Press’ photos on YahooNews news 30
minutes after Kerry’s visit. [see photo below]
At issue: The timing of the
Kerry visit to the Reagan Library in California.
Dignitaries could view the casket at the Reagan Library in
California before the general public or after the general
public; or in Washington, D.C. during the time set aside
for the other government big wigs to attend. California
Governor and Mrs. Schwarzenegger were in attendance during
regular public viewing hours at the personal request of
Mrs. Reagan – who did not take Kerry’s personal phone call
to her, and did not issue an invitation to Kerry.
June 10, 2003...
The parody that launched a bah-zillion 'hits' to our
John Kerry's haughty ways are lampooned as Gilligan's
Island snob Winston Howell III. ...
June 20, 2004
Bill’s Big Book
Bill Clinton’s memoir debut is already mirroring his
presidency, with a virtual roller coaster of bumpy ups and
downs this week ...
CBS’s Dan Rather gushes he read the book and
rates it “five stars out of five stars.”
The New York Times trashes it, calling it,
“sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull —
the sound of one man prattling away, not for the reader,
but for himself and some distant recording angel of
Bill Clinton declares,
"The whole [impeachment] battle
was a badge of honor. I don't see it as a stain, because
it was illegitimate."
NewsMax spills the beans about an upcoming
BBC interview with Clinton, “Two days before his $12
million book hits stores, ex-President Bill Clinton has
already blown his stack at one TV interviewer who
questioned if his contrition over his affair with Monica
Lewinsky was credible.”
June 23, 2004... Considering the long read of Bill Clinton's
here's a 'cliff notes' version of Bill's life...
paid for by the Iowa Presidential Watch
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